If my puppy could send me text messages…

Not long ago, I saw somethig on the Internet that would simulate hypothetical dialogues between dogs and their owners by using mobile phone text messaging. Hilarious! Incredible! Then, I started thinking, “What if my puppy had a mobile phone and could send me messages over WhatsApp?”…

DIALOGUE 1
– I’m hungry. What time is lunch?
– I’ve already put dog food in your feeder.
– I know, I saw it.
– So, bon appetite.
– No, what time is YOUR lunch?

DIALOGUE 2
– I’m getting on the couch.
– No, you’re not!
– Yes, I am!
– If you do, you will sleep in the garage!
– OK, getting down.
– Son of a gun!

DIALOGUE 3
– Dad, open the door! I want to come in.
– But you just got out…
– Yeah, but I don’t like this smell in the garage.
– Smell? What smell?
– Uh, I don’t know… A garage smell.

DIALOGUE 4
– Branca, what’s all that barking for?
– I’m talking to Rex.
– Who is Rex?
– The neighbor’s dog.
– But is that noise really necessary?
– He doesn’t have WhatsApp.

DIALOGUE 5
– Gee, my father is so square! He won’t let me date.
– What kind of bullshit was that, Branca?
– Oops! Sorry, dad. It was a message for Rex. I sent it to you by mistake.
– Show more respect, OK, young lady? I’m not square!
– It’s that or grandchildren. I’m in heat. Do you want grandchildren?
– OK, just send this message to Rex.

► Versão em Português